bomb shelter, 13 stone, sculptor, home-made man, sherker, astronaut, hair stylist, male, mercury sniffer, stamp licker, cricketer, leg cruncher, necrologist, bad speller, football commentator, land mine detonator, amateur gynecologist, crowd pleaser, religious leader, debutante, healer, oceanographer, honourary pygmy, chest hair decurler, composer, 1m88, cannon fodder, antarctic explorer, 180 lbs, fruit picker, teacher, poet, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, ghostwriter, your worst nightmare, post-natal, beard trimmer, highwayman, pop icon, would-be francophone, tattle-teller, armpit sound artist, ex-smoker, herbivore, prodigal son, march hare, anteater, zebra de-striper, toe-nail clipper, leach sucker, sushi chef, engländer, make-up remover, pumpkin masher, taxidermist, autogamist, soap-box maker, de-licer, snake charmer, post-raphaelite, basket weaver, egg pickler, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, film critic, seasonal motocrotte driver, philosopher, olympic gold medallist, best girlfriend, programmer, good egg, bikini waxer, consumer, margaret thatcher's joke writer, pedicurist, astrologist, DIY fetishist, jet-setter, landscape gardener, grave robber, soap opera starlet, contortionist, prickly pear importer, 82 kgs, goatherd, corpse manicurist, palm reader, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, pepper grinder, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, monomaniac, blue-eyed, painter, bear baiter, elvis lookalike, draft enforcer, celebrity embalmer, brown haired, settee upholsterer, elephant-house cleaner, caucasian, experimental ornithologist, bounty hunter, pooper-scooper, will-never-be ex-drinker, private dick, potty trainer, six-footer, mammal, natural gas producer, warmonger, anthropophage, rumour spreader, unemployed jockey, roadrunner, psychoanalyst, julio iglesias' lyricist, wheel changer, head shrinker, remote controller, paper pusher, solid-state physicist, absolutist, worrier, fire hazard, camel trader, old masters restorer, moisturiser, gurkha, sexologist, professional mourner, eccles-cake eater, political consultant, root canal digger, failure, jammy sod, sister, tramp, goodie-goodie, performance artist, happy camper, former united states president, ex-oboist, traffic warden, lady di impersonator, sherpa, mad hatter, jockstrap test pilot, burger flipper, love potion, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, bra underwirer, intestinal pipe cleaner, northerner, brother, rollmop herring roller, refrigerator defurrer, coffin nailer, (null), hippopotamus wrestler, a-and-f-singer, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, rectangulist, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, mushroom cultivator, hatchet man, imposter, cowboy, big cheese, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, ... (suggestions?)


(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)
 

upwards and onwards