refrigerator defurrer, worrier, olympic gold medallist, 1m88, best girlfriend, sherpa, brother, engländer, teacher, oceanographer, a-and-f-singer, your worst nightmare, would-be francophone, bear baiter, basket weaver, remote controller, film critic, caucasian, cannon fodder, sexologist, intestinal pipe cleaner, philosopher, hair stylist, traffic warden, jet-setter, fire hazard, poet, rollmop herring roller, taxidermist, land mine detonator, former united states president, celebrity embalmer, good egg, soap opera starlet, the most excellent zidiot lovehater, tramp, sister, goatherd, tattle-teller, sherker, pedicurist, jammy sod, consumer, painter, bikini waxer, big cheese, prodigal son, margaret thatcher's joke writer, will-never-be ex-drinker, leg cruncher, zebra de-striper, monomaniac, potty trainer, 180 lbs, experimental ornithologist, pop icon, absolutist, crowd pleaser, soap-box maker, beard trimmer, ex-smoker, healer, elvis lookalike, fruit picker, dope dealer to the rich and infamous, autogamist, eccles-cake eater, bomb shelter, moisturiser, camel trader, draft enforcer, pepper grinder, first official viola-class-on-the-moon inspector, astrologist, jockstrap test pilot, warmonger, unemployed jockey, landscape gardener, ghostwriter, composer, mad hatter, anthropophage, 13 stone, grave robber, roadrunner, 82 kgs, hippopotamus wrestler, contortionist, programmer, wheel changer, hatchet man, blue-eyed, make-up remover, sushi chef, pumpkin masher, armpit sound artist, former austrian inneralpine hurricane predictor, gurkha, northerner, mammal, bad speller, elephant-house cleaner, de-licer, solid-state physicist, imposter, love potion, six-footer, religious leader, necrologist, chorus girl at the Moulin Rouge, (null), cowboy, mushroom cultivator, purveyor of fine herbs and medicines to h.m. queen elizabeth ii, amateur gynecologist, anteater, root canal digger, aeroflot safety inspector emeritus, leach sucker, bounty hunter, mercury sniffer, egg pickler, psychoanalyst, DIY fetishist, post-raphaelite, political consultant, post-natal, goodie-goodie, paper pusher, pooper-scooper, toe-nail clipper, old masters restorer, failure, march hare, palm reader, private dick, astronaut, herbivore, coffin nailer, rumour spreader, head shrinker, professional mourner, highwayman, lady di impersonator, julio iglesias' lyricist, bra underwirer, stamp licker, antarctic explorer, snake charmer, male, rectangulist, performance artist, cricketer, ex-oboist, burger flipper, natural gas producer, prickly pear importer, settee upholsterer, corpse manicurist, home-made man, hillary clinton's fashion consultant, brown haired, seasonal motocrotte driver, honourary pygmy, happy camper, chest hair decurler, debutante, sculptor, football commentator, ... (suggestions?)


(with a little education, you too can be all these things....check out my alma mater and see how I became like this.)
 

upwards and onwards